WARRIORS, Love
by Peridot Tears
Summary: A group of oneshots about Warriors love. Please review and tell me how you feel about it!
1. Listen To Your Heart

_**WARRIORS, Love: Listen to Your Heart**_

_**PT: This is basically a group of oneshots about the forbidden loves. How come there are so many!?!? Well, there are other loves too, not just forbidden. The first oneshot is titled Listen to Your Heart! Enjoy! Please review!**_

**Crowfeather**

I get up from my place beside Nightcloud and stretch as the clan gets up to leave. This was a short Gathering, yet it was probably the most painful. I do not even love Nightcloud. She is a great cat and beautiful, but she is also selfish. Everytime she and Leafpool are around each other, she brings her pain on purpose. It is as if she is longing to yowl her triumph of mating me. It makes me sick and I just want to sink my claws into her throat. But I cannot love Leafpool now. That is an impossible dream. It will never be so. Perhaps when I enter Starclan, we may be together forever. Yet it will betray Feathertail…

It's my entire fault. Feathertail never should have sacrificed herself for me. I never should have confessed my love to Leafpool. Then perhaps she would have been at the badger attack and saved her clanmates and Cinderpelt. She would never have felt the pain of forbidden love. Even now, I take chances to go to the border between Thunderclan and Windclan to stare at the spot we met each other on. It was moons ago…yet I remember it like yesterday.

I shake myself and meow to Nightcloud to go on without me.

"I'll get Breezepaw." I meow as our clan leaves.

Nightcloud shoots me a look before she pads away without another word. She's not stupid. She knows that I just want to see Leafpool.

I turn around and pad to Breezepaw, sitting only a fox-length away from Leafpool, who was next to Squirrelflight and some apprentices. I recognize them. The fluffy gray and white she-cat is that horseplace cat's kit, Hazelpaw. The golden and gray toms are Squirrelflight's own kits, Lionpaw and Jaypaw. I give them a long look before I turn my attention to Breezepaw.

"Let's go." I meow.

Breezepaw dips his head and starts to follow me. He glances back at the Thunderclan cats before he meows, "Why do Thunderclan cats have so many kittypets?"

I swing me head around. Leafpool and the others appear to be arguing with Rowanclaw. Without thinking, I start padding towards them, Breezepaw behind me. Soon, I am near and hear Squirrelflight.

"Congratulations, Rowanclaw. You are blessed to have three healthy kits."

I could hardly believe my ears. The father of Tawnypelt's kits is Rowanclaw? I was surprised that she had kits at all. Shadowclan have finally accepted her.

This brings me memories. With a pang in my heart, I remember our journey. I remember the Great Journey and I recall my journey with Sqirrelflight, Tawnypelt, Brambleclaw, Stormfur…and Feathertail…

I shake myself. Why am I missing those days? It has passed. I am a loyal Windclan warrior with a son and mate.

A _brat_ of a son and a mate I don't even love.

I am shaken from my thoughts when I hear Rowanclaw.

"Three healthy _clanborn _kits."

Squirrelflight's reply is sharp.

"That is only a blessing if they remain loyal to the clan they were born to."

Squirrel has matured greatly. Yet she still has a great temper. It hasn't died out yet.

Leafpool then steps in as Rowanclaw lets out a growl.

"There's no need to argue." She replies, her gentle voice flowing out like the sound of the breeze through the trees. The _breeze_. I glance at Breezepaw, remembering why I named him that in the first place.

Yet, I lose it. I chime in as invisible claws tear at my heart.

"He was only speaking the truth."

The Thunderclan cats whip around. I stare directly into Leafpool's amber eyes. I can feel a sharp feeling at the corner of my eyes.

"Don't forget Breezepaw. Thunderclan actually celebrates mixed blood." I meow.

I cannot let my son ever experience the pain I felt in love.

Leafpool jerks her head backward, as if I had run my claws across her muzzle. She turns and hurries away.

I feel my own heart crumbling as I catch a glimpse of her amber eyes, glittering in pain and love.

**Leafpool**

I glance at my sister and feel the bolt of fury she was feeling. I hope she doesn't spring onto Rowanclaw. She has matured, but I wouldn't put it past her to forget the truce and lose her temper.

That's when I hear it.

"He was only speaking the truth." A familiar voice rumbles.

My clanmates and I turn to see Crowfeather and Breezepaw.

Once again, pain explodes in my chest as I stare directly into the smoky warrior's hard gaze.

I could see his eyes glittering.

Things couldn't be worse. Then, it does get worse.

"Don't forget Breezepaw. Thunderclan actually celebrates mixed blood." Crowfeather meows.

I jerk back as I feel a jab in my heart.

I couldn't stand it anymore. I turn and run off. I could feel the cats' gazes burning into my fur. I just want to run from the pain. I cannot be near Crowfeather.

That's when I bump into a form.

"Ow. I'm sorry." I meow as I regain my balance.

I look up and my blood turns to ice.

Nightcloud. Crowfeather's _mate_.

I look back and I realize that I have gone the wrong way.

"No need to apologize." She meows curtly. Then her voice turns smug.

"Have you seen my mate, Crowfeather?" she meows, "And our son, Breezepaw?"

I feel it again. The same pain in my heart. Why can't it leave me in peace?

"No." I reply, my voice shaking. I glare at Nightcloud, whose eyes are glittering, taunting me.

I turn and stalk off, tail high in the air.

I could feel Nightcloud's gaze on my fur and I could tell that she doesn't believe me.

Yet it's true. I have seen Crowfeather's body and eyes. Yet it is not Crowfeather. This is not the tom I have loved and known.

Even now, as I join my clan for our camp, I feel the pain jabbing at my heart, harder than ever. I wanted to join Starclan. Now and forever. To watch over Crowfeather and love him without pain. If only my heart tells me to join my beloved.

That's when I catch a whiff of sweetness. I inhale as a breeze picks up. I hear the same advice a certain cat once told me.

_Listen to your heart…_


	2. Heather, Lion and Honey

__

_**WARRIORS, Love: Heather, Lion and Honey**_

_**PT: Hi again! I'm sorry for neglecting this story but it's on my updating schedule now. The schedule's in my profile :) Thanks for the review iLovely!**_

**Honeypaw**

The day couldn't be more perfect for me. I'm hunting with probably the best apprentice tom in all four clans: Lionpaw.

He's brave, he's kind, he's handsome. He's a great warrior. He's determined to prove himself. His descent is of no importance to me. It doesn't matter that his grandfather is the great Firestar, the cat I have heard countless tales of. They're true. The stories are outrageous, but true. It doesn't matter to me that his grandmother is Sandstorm either, the clans' best hunter and daughter of the great Redtail. The fact that Lionpaw's uncle was the great Hawkfrost is carrion to me. It won't make a difference that Tigerstar, a great cat, but evil one, is his grandfather. It's never going to fuel my love for Lionpaw that his aunt is Mothwing, his father the great Brambleclaw, his mother daughter of Firestar and one of the chosen cats to find a new home for our clans, or even Leafpool, Squirrelflight's sister and the one who found Moonpool. Everytime I see Lionpaw, I get this feeling in the depths of my heart, my very spirit.

I have earlier offended Lionpaw today. I have tried to defend his honor from Mousepaw, then attempted to comfort him at the loss of his prey. That made him feel weak. I'm truly sorry for that.

I spot a mouse in a clearing. It's feasting on a nut, tearing the shell off. It's around a beech tree, so intent upon the nut.

I have only thought of Lionpaw and I carefully whip around in a flash.

"Look!" I hiss, "That'll be easy to catch."

Lionpaw stares at the mouse. I wonder if he's hesitating to catch it. I blink at him. Hopefully, I'll encourage him.

"It doesn't even know we're here," I meow.

I wish the thing that happened next didn't happen.

"Why don't you catch it then?" he hisses.

He looked furious, like I had insulted him. I feel a jab in my heart.

"I thought you might want the chance," I meow. I wish I could eat my words.

"I don't need help!" Lionpaw snaps at me.

I feel something in me quiver and I wish he'd understand me. I love him. I look away, feeling hopeless. I wish Lionpaw would love me back, I really do. I'd give my life for him.

I stare at a root, wishing for Lionpaw. He likes Heatherpaw, I know he does. They complete each other. The heather and lion. Heather comforts a lion's soreness and a lion loves the heather. I'm nothing. Just honey that clears a lion's throat. I see no use in that. A lion's throat will clear eventually. There's water. I wish it was Lionpaw and me.

_**PT:** **Yeah, sorry for the freakishly short chapter. I'll make a longer one next time. Oh, by the way, I'm putting up a vote in this story. Choose a pairing and I might put it in the next chapter. Here are the pairings up for voting:**_

**_HeatherLion...LeafCrow_**

**_GoldenTiger...NightCrow_**

**_CinderJay...CinderPoppy_**

**_CinderLittle...FireSpotted_**

**_TawnyRowan...FireSand_**

**_StormBrook...BlueOak_**

**_YellowRunning...SilverGray_**

**_YellowRagged...GrayMillie_**

**_CrowFeather...SquirrelBramble_**

**_SquirrelAsh...TigerSasha_**

**_WillowJay...WhiteWillow_**

**_SorrelBracken...StormSquirrel_**

**_RainSwallow...DaisySmoky_**

**_CloudDaisy...CloudBright_**

**_FernDust...MinnowMouse_**

**_BlueBarley...FuzzViolet_**


	3. Emergency Message!

Dear everyone,

There's not much time. I can't go on the internet anymore. If I come back, I'll private message to you if you want. Tell me in a review. My mom's so annoying!

Till then,

PT


	4. Denial

_**WARRIORS, Love: Denial**_

_**PT: Hello again! -Grins like a moron- Thanks to everyone for their reviews! That's six reviews in one blow, cool. I've never had that much in a single update. Anyway, thanks to everyone for voting! Those of you who have suggested other pairings to me, I have added them to the poll. Anyway, I might not be able to update next week; I'm having a math Statewide Test. Grrr . . . I hate math. Anyway, putting that behind us, check back in case I was able to update! Enjoy this one!**_

**Willowpaw**

I pad to the moor with Mothwing, proud to be a medicine cat, eager to see Hollypaw again. I've recently heard that her clan was invaded by ShadowClan.

It's horrible; ShadowClan always seem so . . . evil. I mean, Littlecloud is fine and I've heard of other good cats: Whitethroat, Yellowfang, Raggedstar, Boulder when he was given a second chance to be a clan cat, Tawnypelt, Dawncloud . . . well, there are a pawful of those kinds of cats. Runningnose seems to be an innocent cat too. When did ShadowClan become so . . . arrogant, to say the least?

I shake such thoughts from my head and rejoice as I scent the other cats. ThunderClan is not here yet. I wait anxiously. Surely, ThunderClan cats couldn't be so injured that Hollypaw can't come.

There's Littlecloud, the respectful tiny ShadowClan medicine cat. "Greetings," he meows as he dips his head.

"How's it going in your clan?" Mothwing purrs, dipping his head in returns. I bend mine for a heartbeat, then turn to watch for Hollypaw's black pelt.

"We're doing alright. Oakfur's got a bad limp and Tawnypelt's expecting." Mothwing blinks at the news. "That's wonderful!" she purrs. "An addition to your ranks.

"Who's Tawnypelt's mate?"

"Rowanclaw," Littlecloud replies.

"A fine warrior," Mothwing comments.

I shift impatiently as I open my mouth for Hollypaw's scent. Where is she?

My eyes widen as I finally smell ThunderClan. She's coming! Hollypaw's so nice. She's . . .

Where is Hollypaw?

I stare as Jaypaw appears behind Leafpool.

What's Jaypaw doing with Leafpool? I thought he wanted to be a warrior! Wait . . . did someone mistakenly injure Hollypaw when ShadowClan . . .?

I shake such thoughts from my head. After all, Hollypaw would have been in the ThunderClan camp, not around the borders.

_Unless she was collecting herbs . . ._

I hurry forward as two come closer, then stop. I'll ask him when's he's alone. After all, I . . .

Good point, why do I want to speak to him alone?

Leafpool exchanges greetings with Mothwing and Littlecloud. Maybe I should speak to him now? The very thought made my skin hot under my pelt. Why? Why am I so nervous about speaking to him?

Littlecloud and Leafpool start chatting away about the effects of the Clan.

"One wound unhealed," Leafpool meows. "And yours?"

"Oakfur is still limping," Littlecloud meows and I feel a surge of satisfaction. ShadowClan thinks that they're all that, don't they? I would love to laugh in Oakfur's face.

"Try wrapping his paw with comfrey each night when he sleeps," Leafpool suggests.

"I've run out." Littlecloud meows and I feel even more satisfaction. Serves Oakfur right! After all, he did attack Jaypaw's clan and might have injured him. That's unforgiva –

Wait, why do I care for Jaypaw? Shouldn't I be worrying about Hollypaw?

"You should have come to us!" Leafpool meows, shocked.

"Blackstar wouldn't let me," Littlecloud confesses. Now I really hate Blackstar. He's so prideful; he wouldn't even push pride aside for awhile to help his Clanmate. Plus, why did he attack ThunderClan in the first place?

Thinking of ThunderClan . . .

I stop listening to the conversation and pad to where Jaypaw was sitting alone, his ears pricked. I've heard that he was born blind. Did ShadowClan take advantage of that?

My blood turns to ice as I near him. My heart is pounding. Why? It's just Hollypaw's brother.

I almost pull away when I brush my pelt against his.

"Where's Hollypaw?" I ask softly.

Jaypaw flicks his tail and turns his blue gaze on me. I found myself caught in its icy depths. His eyes are just so . . . blue. Yet, he glares angrily through those unseeing eyes. I hold his gaze, but I almost flinch. I feel something in my chest. What . . .?

"Don't you know?" he hisses. "Hollypaw found it so boring being a medicine cat that she let her poor, useless brother do it instead."

I flinch. I don't think you're useless, Jaypaw!

I feel hurt, deeply wounded. I was just asking! The hurt pierces into my chest, like the sharpest thorn . . .

I'm _that_ hurt?

What? It's not like I like him or something! I deny it completely!

_Denial, I feel for you_, a little voice cackles in my mind.

That's not true! He's stingy and grumpy!

_Sure. Where's the pain coming from, then?_

Stuff a fish in it!

I try to shake the thoughts out of my head. It's not true!

_Denial . . . Jaypaw. . ._

**Jaypaw**

Great StarClan, Willowpaw's annoying! Geez, just because I'm blind doesn't mean I'm useless and I can't be a warrior!

I walk behind everyone as we make our way to Moonpool. This slope isn't much. After all, I do know the way. Now, I'll just ignore Willowpaw.

"Willowpaw!" Mothwing. "Walk with Jaypaw. I'm sure he'll have plenty of questions about the Moonpool."

Fox dung. I've been there before, you know!

Willowpaw steps near me, but she doesn't touch me. Hey! Come closer! That is . . . er . . . so I could mock you!

Wow, that was a lame excuse. So, why do I want her closer?

It's not like I like her or anything!

"Has Leafpool brought you here yet?" she mews and I could tell that she'd rather be anywhere but here.

Oh, I smell a rabbit hole. Time to avoid it. I guess I'll just answer Willowpaw and sidestep it at the same time.

I open my mouth to–

I feel teeth meet my scruff. Willowpaw! Why are you dragging me sideways?!

I unsheathe my claws and wriggle away. I break free. Yes! See? I can manage! You mouse-brain!

I lunge. Mouse-brain.

"Jaypaw!" Leafpool screeches. "What are you doing?!"

I part my jaws to reply, but Willowpaw replies first.

"He almost fell down a rabbit hole! I was just trying to help him!

I sheathe my claws, and my ears are on fire. She was only trying to help. Just trying to help, like any medicine cat would.

"I didn't know!" I snap. I didn't know. I just wondered if she was trying to help me walk or something like that. I'm not that pathetic. I'm not a kit!

Unfortunately, Leafpool is faster than me.

"That's no excuse! Apologize!" She sounds furious.

"I'm sorry." So annoying . . .

Willowpaw is so mad, she growls.

"That's okay." Not with you, really. "Next time I hope you fall in!"

I'm not that helpless!

She walks away angrily, flicking my nose. Hey, she touched me!

I keep walking with the others. Yeah, she touched me, so what? I hate her! Hm, I heard that Firestar and Sandstorm hated each other before, when they were apprentices. Oh, what does that have to do with me!?

I come to stone, it's slippery from the frost. I try to be careful. Steady . . .

Hey! I'm–

GAH!

I'm slipping!

Willowpaw's coming! She's–

Hey, she stopped! So she was serious about not helping me! Wow, so stubborn and she never backs off from her word. Ow, the rock's hard

We walk on, but Willowpaw never helps me whenever I come to a problem. She has such self-control.

Hmph. It's not like I really admire her or anything.

Well, okay, she is kind of . . .

I deny admiring her! It's not denial!

_**PT:**__**I'm scared. I think Jaypaw's out of character. Thanks to everyone for their reviews! I'm so happy, I could cry! Anyway, people have suggested new pairings so I put them on the vote. Please vote and review!**_

_**HeatherLion...Hawkfrost/Pick a cat! Any cat!**_

_**GoldenTiger...NightCrow**_

_**CinderJay...JayPoppy**_

_**CinderLittle...FireSpotted**_

_**TawnyRowan...FireSand**_

_**StormBrook...BlueOak**_

_**YellowRunning...SilverGray**_

_**YellowRagged...GrayMillie**_

_**CrowFeather...SquirrelBramble**_

_**SquirrelAsh...TigerSasha**_

**ShrewWhite**_**...WhiteWillow**_

_**SorrelBracken...StormSquirrel**_

_**RainSwallow...DaisySmoky**_

_**CloudDaisy...CloudBright**_

_**FernDust...MinnowMouse**_

_**BlueBarley...FuzzViolet**_

_**MouseRunning…AshNight**_

_**LeopardHawk…LeopardTall**_


	5. Swallow Me Up, Stop The Rain In My Heart

_**WARRIORS, Love: Swallow Me Up, Stop The Rain In My Heart**_

_**PT: Okay, I'm soooooooooooooooo sorry. On my last update, I realized that I said that I had the math test, but I made a mistake; by the time I updated, I've already finished the test. I'm ssssssssooooooooooooooooooooo sorry. Don't hurt me! T/.\T So…triple update! Mhmmm… If I don't update the second story today, I'll do it tomorrow. I can't complain; I am a pre-teen after all.**_

_**Brackenfur: Dude, that makes no sense.**_

_**PT: GET OUT!!**_

_**-Brackenfur leaves-**_

_**PT: Anyway, here are some review replies:**_

**Stahle **Er… Excuse me? What?

**inktongue58 **Yeah, it does get annoying. I can't exactly blame Jaypaw for being so mad, but you don't/didn't see Cinderpelt or Longtail complaining. Oh! Plus, you like the Inkheart trilogy, don't you? Love those books! Oh, that was random, lol.

**Rainwhisker**

I inhale deeply as I search for one cat in particular. I haven't seen this cat in so long, it seems. I just want to feel her again, drink in her scent, know that she is there. We have become friends during the Great Journey, maybe even more. It's just that she has been there for me and I have tried to be there for her.

It was wonderful, really. At first, I found it awkward that there were no longer boundaries between the Clans. Then, I met Swallowtail. She comforted me, shared her feelings with me, even though she was from RiverClan. I've never felt the same again.

It is hard explain; how my life changed and all. I can only feel this change, literally feel it, and the only way for one to get a proper explanation is to feel it yourself.

It hurt when I had to leave Swallowtail, it _hurt_. Leaders supposedly feel the worst pain when they get their nine lives, but I think different. There's a worse pain.

This pain is love.

When you lose it, it hurts more. When it's broken, failed, it hurts that much as well, more or less.

That's what I felt. I barely got to know my father, my mother died saving my brother. My aunt died much too early. Mistyfoot and Stonefur… Well, Stonefur died and Mistyfoot… It doesn't seem right, she is RiverClan's deputy.

Swallowtail…

I sniff her out in this Gathering. She must be here!

I spot her, a little ways away from Brambleclaw, who's going after his sister. I head off at once.

I rush past many cats, but I don't give a fox-dung about it. All that matters is the dark RiverClan tabby sitting farther off, looking around the Gathering. I wonder if she is looking for me too, I wish we could have been together. That's a flaw in being in Clans: boundaries force love into something forbidden.

I just really like Swallowtail, but I'm not saying that I love her that much. Okay, I do wish that we could go as far as mating, but that is impossible. She reminds me of the past, of Mother, of Father.

I don't know why, she just does.

I feel the energy building up now, pressure in my limbs. Those words that I had wanted to say again are on the tip of my tongue, screaming for release, screaming for a chance to be displayed to the tabby she-cat.

"Hi, Swallowtail! How's the prey running?!"

To my dismay, I remember that things are different now, we have boundaries again.

Swallowtail shoots a questioning glance at Leopardstar, sitting a few tail-lengths away.

"Fine," the leader murmurs.

I find my heart beating again, I feel like I am about to explode, what with all the building pressure in my body.

I bend–Swallowtail is slightly shorter than me–to lick Swallowtail around the ears, just like what I used to do on the Great Journey, when we shared tongues freely.

Suddenly, a piece of ice falls into the pit of my stomach. I'm thinking as I near and I freeze. _This is wrong._

I jerk back, my head spinning. I am…a loyal ThunderClan…warrior… I am…a…honorable warrior, member of ThunderClan…who knows of the old days and new ones…and will never forget our old home, which we had lived in for…StarClan knows how long.

I consciously lick my own paw and swipe it over my face, but I'm already embarrassed. I absolutely loathe this moment. I hope no one else saw me try to lick Swallowtail.

_Things are different now…_

Very true, but I wish they weren't.

"Sorry," I meow quietly, "I keep forgetting, things are different now."

She licks me. I blink.

"Yes," she meows seriously, "but it's all right to do this at Gatherings. We aren't breaking the warrior code to be friendly at this point.

"It do feel that we'd best let our leaders know that we have not forgotten our places." That explains why she had asked for permission from Leopardstar.

"Our Clan is doing well," I murmur.

Swallowtail flicks my ear with her tail; she used to always do that on the journey.

"So's ours," she meows.

Swallow me up, Swallowtail, I want to be with you forever. Swallow me up and end the pain of losing you to the laws of our ancestors. I'll only ever let you hurt me.

Although you don't mean it, it's because of the warrior code. I'd never let anyone but you harm me, because I really like you, and I trust you to never hurt me intentionally, even for the sake of your Clan. Yet, to tell the truth, dear Swallowtail, you…not intentionally, but you…

…You already had.

**Swallowtail**

I gasp as I hear the news at the Gathering.

No… It can't be…it just can't!

NO! PLEASE! StarClan, NO! Don't let it be true, oh, please! Don't let it be true… Please, no.

I pray to StarClan… Please, don't let it be true. It's a lie, I know it is. He can't be gone. He couldn't have left me… No…

Firestar bows his head as he breaks the news. Please, StarClan, don't let him repeat that lie again–

"Rainwhisker is dead."

NO!

I unsheathe my claws and let them sink into the earth beneath me. No… Please, that… I won't accept it!

That's a lie! A LIE!

I will not accept such a LIE!

I'm an elder now, elder forevermore until I join the ranks of my warrior ancestors. Only, I want to join _now. _It's a lie that Rainwhisker is dead, but I still need to join.

For, there, there are no boundaries of love. We shall walk the skies forever there, in the Great Beyond.

Till then, I shall continue to hear the lie that Rainwhisker is dead. For I shall never accept that he is gone. It is a _lie_. The grief, however, still tears at my heart. It's raining there, in my chest, the raindrops cold and hard, coming out in a spray, making the drops feel like thorns.

He is not gone. That lie… Raining upon an incomplete hole in my heart.

_**PT: Well, these ideas are sprouting from real life experience, so please don't ask. Er… Please R&R!**_

_**Brackenfur: Please vote! We've got some really cool results!**_

_**PT: The little 'l's next to the pairings are like tally points… I have no better way to represent the votes.**_

_**Brackenfur: Lazy…**_

_**-PT dumps Brackenfur in a box-**_

_**PT: Back to the lake with you!**_

_**HeatherLion…GoldenTiger**_

_**NightCrow l…CinderJay l**_

_**JayPoppy…CinderLittle ll**_

_**FireSpotted ll…TawnyRowan ll**_

_**FireSand ll…StormBrook ll**_

_**BlueOak…YellowRunning l**_

_**SilverGray lll…YellowRagged lll**_

_**GrayMillie…CrowFeather l**_

_**SquirrelBramble lll…SquirrelAsh**_

_**TigerSasha…WhiteWillow**_

_**SorrelBracken ll…StormSquirrel lll**_

_**LeopardHawk…DaisySmoky**_

_**CloudDaisy l…CloudBright ll**_

_**AshNight …MinnowMouse**_

_**BlueBarley l…FuzzViolet**_

_**MouseRunning ll…ShrewWhite l**_

_**HawkPick a cat! Any cat! ll…LeopardBlack**_

_**LeopardTall ll**_


	6. Existence

_**WARRIORS, Love: Existence**_

_**PT: HI! It's another week T.T So…double update this week!! Man, I luv updating! ) Okay, here we go!**_

_**Brambleclaw: You know, Demi, Brackenfur's acting crazy around the camp. The other day, he was attempting to eat a pebble while singing I Must Be Emo! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!**_

"…"

_**PT: Eheheheh…**_

_**-PT shoves Brambleclaw in a box with Ashfur-**_

_**PT: OKAY! HERE WE GO!!**_

**Tawnypelt**

I look around me as we gather for a Clan meeting. I am all alone. Almost my whole Clan still ignores me, for which Clan I was born into. It's stupid, completely mouse-brained.

Some of this stupidity comes from hypocrisy. After all, Blackstar once committed crimes that were so unforgivable; he probably deserved a slow, long, painful death. Russetfur was one of those cats too. Both she and Blackstar helped Brokentail with his crimes and then Tigerstar. Now, they are both in powerful positions and shunning me; to them, I'm just a lump of dirt.

It's fox-brained.

The only cats who bother to acknowledge me are Boulder, Runningnose, Tallpoppy, her kits and Littlecloud. They are kind.

Today, however, the Gathering is for Tallpoppy's kits' apprenticeship start. Tallpoppy herself has a slight cold and Littlecloud is treating her. Runningnose and Boulder are both tired.

I am sitting there, all alone, shunned completely as the ceremony starts.

That's when I receive a shock.

I smell someone familiar, someone coming towards me. It's definitely…

I spin around to see; I have gotten sensitive of anyone approaching me who's not Tallpoppy, the elders, kits or medicine cat.

"Hi, Tawnypelt," Rowanclaw meows. He is approaching me, but not in that usual cautious way, like I'm the scum many in my Clan see me as. His expression suggests…friendliness?

It's amazing enough that he had greeted me, but it's even more amazing that he's doing it of his own free will. Yet, I am still cautious. Did Blackstar distrust me so much that he had Rowanclaw watch me? Is this all a trick? Is he acting friendly so I could trust him and spend time with him? Is this a ruse?

It doesn't seem so, but I wouldn't put it past Blackstar to have someone spying on me.

Rowanclaw sits down next to me. I feel his pelt against mine. He is barely half a mouse-length apart from me. His pelt is…softer than I had expected and I flinch a bit from his touch. I shift aside a bit. I am wary now, so wary that I cannot stand to touch anyone, even if it is a slight brush of the fur. I know how much my Clanmates hate me, for my ThunderClan blood. It's an obvious fact.

Rowanclaw doesn't bother to move back to me. I'm slightly relieved. It doesn't feel right to be near him.

Yet, I could sense something between us. I feel something drawing me towards him. I feel that I could trust him. He is acknowledging my existence. He isn't…shunning me. Something is telling me that Blackstar didn't hire Rowanclaw to spy on me.

I look up and catch Blackstar staring at Rowanclaw and me with a somewhat disgusted look.

I am suddenly convinced that Rowanclaw is offering to be my friend on his own free will. He is doing this because… Really? Is he…_accepting _me?

I feel something like elation as the ceremony starts. Something brings me to him and before I know it, I move closer to him.

He stiffens in surprise, but does not draw away. He merely seems surprised and I feel that surprise as well.

I feel something inside of me and I am grateful to him for not shunning me. In that instant, I move closer to him and I sense that everything will be all right.

I'm putting my trust in Rowanclaw and – as he relaxes at our touch – I feel that we'll accept each other – I'll believe that he will not let me down. We'll be friends and we'll trust each other.

**Rowanclaw**

I feel sorry for her.

Tawnypelt has proved herself a loyal ShadowClan warrior, despite her birth, countless times over. Yet, it's like she had never done any of her acts of valor.

I especially saw through to her loyalty when she fought those kittypets.

Those pieces of fox-dung killed my apprentice, Talonpaw, I lusted for revenge. I burned for it. That thirst for the blood of those pieces of carrion was overwhelming, it shrouded my heart. When Tawnypelt came back with help from ThunderClan, I was actually grateful that she cared so much, that she would tell another Clan. I was so intent on my revenge; Talonpaw had been the son I never had. Losing him was like losing my heart. Then, when Tawnypelt acted weak to lure the kittypets into our trap for them, I was shocked beyond belief. Tawnypelt was a proud warrior and formidable. She was willing to seem so weak for the sake of her Clan. Acting like that hurts pride.

As I had watched her, I was convinced that she _was_ loyal to her Clan, even though ShadowClan was not her birth Clan.

After we had scared the kittypets off, I was shocked that nothing about her status changed. In Blackstar's eyes, especially, she was still half-blood trash.

I was furious. I felt sorry for Tawnypelt; she did not deserve this horrid reputation just for something she could not control. She didn't choose her mother, her birth Clan, her father, her brother. She didn't choose those. She had no say at all. She had joined ShadowClan to be accepted for who she made herself.

As I see her tonight at the apprentice ceremony for Applekit, Toadkit and Marshkit, I remember how she had hurt her own pride to help her Clan. I remembered how much I had wanted to kill those kittypets for hurting, _killing_, my _son_. Yes, Talonpaw was my son, not related by blood, but related by our bond. I realized that Tawnypelt felt that bond with her Clan, natural because they were her kin, simply because they were her Clan, even though nobody acknowledged her loyalty, her brave acts, everything she had done for this family of hers.

The ceremony reminds me of Talonpaw's own apprentice ceremony. With that, I remembered everything and found deep appreciation for Tawnypelt. That is why…I will be her friend.

_**PT: Please, I like to put up meanings that are hard to find. You'll need to delve deep! (Annoying singsong voice.) You'll need to think hard!! I really think ThunderClan's just way too perfect. ShadowClan is my least favorite Clan, but they do have emotions, opinions and the things that make them living beings. :) Please vote! I can't make promises about updates anymore.**_

_**-Smacks self-**_

_**Anyway, yes, I have realized that I have not double-updated, but I don't go back on my word. I will update at least once next week, maybe double, maybe not. Geez, these are busy days.**_

_**-Sighs-**_

_**Review and vote! Please! Also, I need constructive critism! If I'm going to become the world's greatest writer, I need to learn from my mistakes! Please! :) Anyway, back to talking to myself! I love French people! Too bad they hate me. To them, I'm just a violent American fucker TT.TT Note: I'm talking to myself.**_

_**HeatherLion l…GoldenTiger**__**…**__**NightCrow ll…CinderJay l**_

_**JayPoppy l…CinderLittle lll…FireSpotted lll…FernDust lll**_

_**FireSand ll…StormBrook ll…BlueOak l…YellowRunning l**_

_**SilverGray lll…YellowRagged llll…GrayMillie…CrowFeather ll**_

_**SquirrelBramble lll…SquirrelAsh…TigerSasha…WhiteWillow**_

_**SorrelBracken ll…StormSquirrel llll…LeopardHawk l…DaisySmoky**_

_**CloudDaisy l…CloudBright ll…AshNight …MinnowMouse**_

_**BlueBarley l…FuzzViolet…MouseRunning ll…ShrewWhite l**_

_**HawkPick a cat! Any cat! lll…LeopardBlack l…LeopardTall lll**_


	7. Last Regret

_**WARRIORS, Love: Last Regret**_

_**PT: Wow, thanks for the reviews! Anyway, I got a little carried away in the last pairing, what with all the shunning, pride, acknowledgement and prejudice; I think Naruto has gone way past into my head OO' I'm serious, at the first episode, there was all that attention stuff, loneliness, existence, blah, blah, blah and I was like "Hey! That's exactly how I feel!" Naruto has reminded me of the honor and determination I learned when I was barely over seven years of age, so I'm addicted to it.**_

**Darren's Wings **Thanks! Fuzz is a kittypet and his owner is a vet, well, I think the owner's a vet. The owner healed Barley and his sister. Barley's sister is Violet and their brothers, Snake and Ice, were Scourge's personal guards. You can read about them in Secrets of The Clans.

**Allan pike **I totally agree. Love should not be forbidden!

**ANGELA **Hm, nothing implies a love interest yet, but I'm out on watch for it! HOLLYPAW, FALL IN LOVE!

**Yellowfang**

I'm dying… The black is pressing on me, splotches of darkness appearing in my vision, blurring the image of the tom before me.

Fireheart…the son I never carried.

He was always a better son than Brokentail. Brokentail, traitor, murderer, someone I probably should not call a son, but I still loved him, because he was my flesh and blood.

Mine and Raggedstar's.

I'm dying, my life is flashing before my eyes, letting me see the story I have looked at with my gaze.

Raggedstar…was a great cat. I loved him, truly, I did. He was brave, honest, a great leader whom I have known for as long as I can remember.

I can feel it, sense it, horribly, my breathing is slowing down. It's harsh, raspy, grating, like drawing a claw slowly across a bone, sunk deep.

I'm going… If this is dying, it is not horrid. It's actually…comforting, knowing that your pain will end soon, you'll unravel and reach up into the skies.

So, this is the end.

I hear those whispers, achingly familiar, Raggedstar's whispers, being pushed into my head, gently, flowing like a steady stream and I suddenly feel Raggedstar beside me. He has flown down, into my presence, to welcome me into the Great Beyond, to help me there, gently, knowing that we could love each other there without breaking a code. I have told Firestar that I had killed my own son, let him know of what has haunted me for what seemed to be forever.

There is no need to look at myself as I leave this world. I could tell that my fur is burnt, dulled and I know that things will be better in Silverpelt. It's just like that. I dearly hope that StarClan will forgive me for all my wrongs. All these jabs of pain, invisible puddles of ice-cold wate, regret and terror, the warmth in my heart at being able to see the son I have never been the blood of…brings tremors to the body I have always inhabited.

It's horrid: Patchpelt and Halftail, both dead. StarClan, keep them.

There is some sort of consciousness beside me, warm, tingling. I can feel it, materializing. I feel that sudden warmth beside me, blow on my fur, as if to blow off the soot.

Raggedstar?

Raggedstar!

I could feel that sort of warmth that comes up suddenly. I hear… I feel…his presence. It cannot be explained unless one feels themselves. I don't know, I just hear him now… No, it's like thoughts but…I'm conscious of everything around me. I'm caught between two worlds: this place I have walked physically and my mind, a mental place of its own. It's like thinking…but I'm not losing concentration on this physical world. Thinking… I've always defined it as feeling thoughts, but I've never found the words to explain it before. The world is strange that way.

There's a heaving mass of energy in my chest now, all in my sorrow, remembering how I've loved Raggedstar, but couldn't, how he was happy that I was carrying his kits, how I had to lose my daughters right at their birth, how I had to stand to see my son throughout his life but never knowing his kinship with me, seeing him become a monster, losing Raggedstar and then killing my only son. Fireheart helped me… He brought me to ThunderClan and I found a new family. I found two new kits who did not share my blood: Cinderpelt and Fireheart.

Now, I'm going to have Raggedstar back, dear Raggedstar.

I feel the warmth coming over me, so comforting and I suddenly invite it, with all the warmth I could muster for it. I hear whispers…coming in my head…

Raggedstar…

I close my eyes, slowly, because I want to at least see this world one last time…

I do not meet darkness, for the first time, upon shutting my eyes, and the last time.

I could hear Fireheart's cries to me…but I ignore them… I hear the sound, but not the words. To bask in my true son's voice…one more time.

Good-bye…

"Yellowfang."

I can hear the voice, that voice of Raggedstar, replacing Fireheart's. I find myself standing up, feeling like the time I had become an apprentice for the first time. I'm all right now. I could see my body, a useless lump of dark, but I could see Fireheart.

I turn, tearing my eyes away from him in his grief to see my beloved.

There he is, the one I have craved to see. Oh, he hasn't changed a bit. As always, he is there, proud stature, with his unkept gray pelt, his thin tail high in the air, his proud amber eyes that always gleamed.

I purr, find myself doing so, knowing that he is there. I see him again. I _can_.

He is there, my beloved and I find myself padding quickly towards him. To feel him again…to tell him how much I love him, to know that he loves me.

Peace at last. It comes to me and we're together, this time, knowing that it isn't against the code and not having to break apart again. We _are_ together…

… Forever…

_**PT: Please understand this. I have tried to put lots of thought into it. Er… Oh damn, now comes the part where I explain everything when I've always been horrid at putting things into words.**_

_**-Rubs temples-**_

_**Sorreltail: Don't hurt yourself!**_

_**PT: Yes, well, please review and vote! Plus, constructive critism!**_

_**Sorreltail: C'mon! See that cute little periwinkle button down there? It's waving at you! It's saying 'tickle me'!**_

_**PT: … Bye!**_

_**-Bows and leaves-**_

_**HeatherLion lll…GoldenTiger**__**…**__**NightCrow lll…CinderJay ll**_

_**JayPoppy lll…CinderLittle llll…FireSpotted llll…FernDust lllll**_

_**FireSand lll…StormBrook llll…BlueOak l…YellowRunning l**_

_**SilverGray llllll…**__**LeopardTall llll**__**…GrayMillie l…CrowFeather lllll**_

_**SquirrelBramble llll…SquirrelAsh…TigerSasha l…WhiteWillow**_

_**SorrelBracken lll…StormSquirrel llll…LeopardHawk ll…DaisySmoky**_

_**CloudDaisy ll…CloudBright lll…AshNight ll…MinnowMouse**_

_**BlueBarley ll…FuzzViolet…MouseRunning lll…ShrewWhite ll…BirchWhite l**_

_**HawkPick a cat! Any cat! lllll…LeopardBlack ll**_


	8. Leaving

_**WARRIORS, Love: Leaving**_

_**PT: Phew, sorry for the late update! I've been goofing off on Gaia this week, vacation, you know, I communicate with my school friends there. Oh, yeah, I did have the time to write a new ONESHOT! It's for the Da Vinci Code, awesome book, no offense to any religions. I've got no religion, so it doesn't hurt ME in any way, other than the fact that my divorced dad is Christian and I live across a Catholic church. Can someone tell me why Chinese people can't live in a home facing a church? I overheard it: some kind of superstition. It's got nothing to do with a graveyard, either. AHEM, well, to the point, now. Please read that oneshot! I'm really proud of it! I know, it's just a fic, but I spent a whole night writing the draft. This is the first time I've drafted a story OO' Btw, people, what do you think of the people who constantly threaten people who write those 'ask' fics for Warriors? I find it frinkin annoying. **_

_**Sorreltail: Demi…**_

_**-PT looks up at note-**_

_**PT: Holy crap, that's a long rant.**_

**Darren's Wings **Thanks again! OMG, I can't believe I forgot about Birchfall and Applekit! -Bangs head on table- Anyway, yeah, that fic on Katrina is brilliant! Love it!

**Silverstream**

So, this is StarClan's punishment.

I'm dead, now, but I can't believe it.

I'm dead. I repeat it, as if it's the only way to make it seem real. _I'm_ _dead._

No matter how much I repeat it, it's still unbelievable. How could StarClan do this to me? I love Graystripe, but I can't love my kits? I can't show them my love, be there for them?

I stand here, with my mother's tail around my shoulders – all I do is stare at Graystripe, my kits, Fireheart, Cinderpelt and Tigerstar.

Graystripe is wailing in grief at the body I have left behind. Oh, I so want to help him. I want to comfort him, but I keep standing my ground. It's the shock, the grief. I unconsciously unsheathe my claws and attempt to dig them into the incredibly hard rock beneath my paws. I want to feel this rock, feel the solid hardness, to feel it, reassure myself that, as long as I am touching the ground, that I'm still here. Then, maybe I can comfort Graystripe. I want to stay alive. I want to watch my kits grow up, to see them become strong, fine warriors, maybe eben Clan leaders. Yet, most of all, I want to live to be with Graystripe. My claws scrape against this solid stone, not penetrating it. I insistently sink my claws in more. I grip the earth, because I don't want to leave – I _can't_ leave.

I can't leave!

I CAN'T LEAVE!!

I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE!!

I can't leave! I don't want to leave! I don't want to die!! I don't! I DON'T!! I WON'T!!

If I leave – if I die – who will take care of my kits? Father will be devastated! Mother's already died from blackcough when I was only an apprentice. I'm the only family he has left. I can't just die and _leave_. He's my father. Crookedstar is my father and the only one I have left; I'm the only one _he_ has. I'll gain my mother when I join StarClan, but then my kits will be alone. They'll have no mother. Their father will be in a different Clan…if the kits won't end up as part of ThunderClan.

Which Clan will they be part of? Why did I fall in love with Graystripe? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? WHY?

WHY – did I fall in love with him? Why did he fall in love with me? Why did I? If I we hadn't loved each other, none of this would have happened. I wouldn't have carried Graystripe's kits. I wouldn't have to die – to leave the ranks of the living. To leave father. To leave RiverClan. Yet, what I mourn the most…is that I have to die and leave my love. My mate. My Graystripe. The handsome gray tabby, with those amber eyes that always glowed at me, always kind. Always the same amber eyes that held my gaze lovingly. Always. The eyes would always give me a deep feeling, penetrate me with a kind of warmth, a kind of love that penetrated, penetrated – penetrated me so hard – that it hurt. It killed me. Yet, I still invited that pain. I loved it. The pain told me how much I loved Graystripe. That pain hurt, but I loved it, hard. I loved it incredibly hard. I can't give it a name, but the pain came whenever I thought of Graystripe, and it hit hard. I invited it – I basked in it. It was probably love. Fierce love. A kind of love that was so painful in its own way, I loved it, that it was something good. A kind of pain that was good. A kind of pain that's not so painful at all.

How strange.

Many a night, perhaps a mere free moment, I would just press close to this tabby I loved. No one ever found out. I'd gaze into those eyes, feeling that pain that didn't even hurt. I'd press closer, feeling his warmth, feeling him. Feeling his love. He'd press in closer as well and we'd gaze into each others eyes. His eyes would stare at me, and I'd stare back, lost in the amber depths. Lost. How I loved those nights, so fiercely, so hard. I'd wish they'd last forever. Oh, how I wish it were so now. I wouldn't be dying and leaving everything behind.

I want Graystripe. I want him, even more as I stare at him hungrily. Him wailing with grief. My heart is shattering. It's going, the love and sorrow now drilling into me, this time really hurting. Not like that love that didn't hurt, but hurt at the same time. This pain…

I feel myself pulling away. I open my mouth in a wail. My mother is guiding me away, on to StarClan. No! Yet, my limbs disobey me. They're going, obediently padding for StarClan. I stare at Graystripe.

I can hear myself yowling his name, desperate, longing.

"GRAYSTRIPE!!"

He does not look up. Oh Graystripe, no. He just wails my name in grief and I want to be there.

"I'm sorry," mother murmurs. I act as if I don't hear. I just want Graystripe. "I know how you feel. I felt the same way when I died. I left you and your father alone. I'm sorry this pain must be known to you as well."

I barely hear.

"GRAYSTRIPE!!"

**Graystripe**

No…Silverstream.

I stare at Silverstream's bloodstained body through a blurriness in my eyes.

Don't leave me! What will I do without you? The kits need you! Your father needs you! Your Clan needs you! _I_ need you! Don't go, Silverstream!!

I tilt my head upward; everything is a confusion of pain and tears.

"SILVERSTREAM!!" I wail. That name, I repeat it: it's a name of a cat that I loved so much. It's like saying her name will do anything bring her back to me. I need her.

"SIL-VER…STREAM!!"

DON'T LEAVE ME!!

Please…DON'T!! You can't be dead! DON'T GO! Stay with me!

"SILVERSTREAM!!"

_**PT: There we go! Hope you liked it!! Sorry for missing out on updates TT.TT Good God. OH NO, THERE WE GO AGAIN!! I've been saying 'Good God' instead of OMG these days… Too much 1776.**_

_**Sorreltail: Kay… Review!**_

_**PT: I might update slower than usual. Summer stuff, you know.**_

_**Sorreltail: Constructive criticism!**_

_**PT: That pain thing Silverstream talks about comes up with love, really. I've felt it before, but it wasn't real love. It was school crushing.**_

_**Sorreltail: Vote!**_

_**PT: See you!!**_

_**HeatherLion llll…GoldenTiger l**__**…**__**NightCrow llll…CinderJay ll**_

_**JayPoppy llll…CinderLittle llllll…FireSpotted lllll…FernDust lllllll**_

_**FireSand llll…StormBrook lllll…BlueOak ll…YellowRunning l**_

_**AppleBirch**__**…**__**LeopardTall lllll**__**…GrayMillie l…CrowFeather lllllll**_

_**SquirrelBramble llllll…SquirrelAsh…TigerSasha ll…WhiteWillow**_

_**SorrelBracken llll…StormSquirrel lllll…LeopardHawk ll…DaisySmoky**_

_**CloudDaisy lll…CloudBright lllll…AshNight lll…MinnowMouse**_

_**BlueBarley ll…FuzzViolet…MouseRunning llll…ShrewWhite lll…BirchWhite lll**_

_**HawkPick a cat! Any cat! lllllll…LeopardBlack lll**_


	9. Losing You To Pain

_**WARRIORS, Love: Losing You To Pain**_

_**PT: OMG!! ED IS SO KAWAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!**_

"…"

_**-Squirrelflight knocks her out-**_

_**Sandstorm: Sorry about that; she's been reading Full Metal Alchemist lately and…well, she's fangirling the main character.**_

_**Btw, here's a note she wrote in case I knock her out:**_

_**ED! Erm…sorry for the late update. I've had slight writer's block that's been affecting the updating of a lot of my stories. The updates might get slower; it's been more than a month since I've last updated. Please forgive me D:**_

_**Go on my profile! At the bottom, there's a DeviantArt link. Click it!! It'll bring you straight to my deviation! Yes, I have a DA account now. I made a CrowFeather fanart on Paint. I wrote a fanfic thingy to go with it in the Artist's Comments. I'm sorry, I barely had time to write it; I only had a few minutes. Three minutes, I think.**_

_**I noticed that a lot of members of fanfic are part of DA. I found some…including some of you out there –Looks at computer screen suspiciously—**_

**shadilverluvr **Like, HOW do they not make any sense!? I'm sorry, but I lose my temper easily and, really, you should EXPLAIN how the oneshots make no sense.

**-Hope- In the Name of Love **Yeah, she did spazz out. I was thinking dramatic and everything. Plus, there's the fact that Silverstream was young. I can't believe that she'd be creepily calm about this.

**Darren's Wings **Yeah, I know how to reply, but I prefer to do it this way. Unless you would prefer that I do it the way people usually do on FF. That's fine. Yeah, I've read Flamestar Speaks: Flamestar's Forgotten Tale when I read your review. It really is great! :D I love the plot SO much, like OMG! It's so suspenseful and I don't mind if cats get too Mary Sue-ish! It's actually really perfect! Well, about the Da Vinci Code… This is rather unfortunate, but it does say some things disrespectful to Christianity. Yeah, you would have to read the book. Sorry :( On a brighter note, thanks for the constructive criticism and everything; I was really happy. In fact, I was practically jumping up and down in joy :)

**Feathertail**

I'm dead.

I've been dead for a while now.

It's been a couple of moons, I believe.

You lose all sense of time up here, in this place.

I've gotten confused.

It's nice up here with StarClan. It's certainly good that I know my mother now. She's wonderful.

I feel safe and free, a kind of bubbling warmth in my being—but my problems aren't over.

I've seen Crowfeather, still alive, living as a WindClan warrior.

I'm proud of him—proud that he's such a good warrior…but…

It's just that…he's with Nightcloud.

It's just that—I know Crowfeather doesn't truly love her. He tries to, but he mated with her in the first place to prove his loyalty to WindClan.

I feel for him, but whenever I look at Nightcloud, I have an urge to yowl in her face. A heat boils up within my being; the heat of anger wells up and struggles to escape me. I've never let anyone know how I feel—not even Silverstream.

Nightcloud…she loves Crowfeather, but she's selfish, arrogant and incredibly possessive of her mate and kit.

She treats Leafpool unkindly, trying to tell her that Crowfeather's hers. Can't she understand how she feels? How much pain Leafpool had, and is, going through?

Cold guilt fills in my chest to hate Nightcloud, but I can't bear her at times.

Does she not know how lucky she is—she is Crowfeather's only mate who is allowed to stay with him. I am dead; Leafpool is bound by loyalty. Loyalty to her Clan, the warrior code, loyalty and guilt for Cinderpelt.

Oh, Crowfeather—so confused, hurt, filled with pain. The pain is with me as well.

I don't regret trying to save his life with mine, but I wonder if it was worth it.

Would it have been better if we had died together?

This thought horrifies me.

But, if Crowfeather had died as well as I, he wouldn't have to experience the pain coursing throughout his body—would he?

I'll never know.

Yet, I still so want to bring him up with me… Is that selfish?

Crowfeather…

This pain of watching him going through what is going through now—him hurting, while I'm up here, hunting with StarClan, not able to do anything about it.

His heart has broken, and it cannot be mended.

I wish I could fix that.

I _need_ to fix that.

I cannot sit by, knowing that he's dying within himself.

But, it's too late to help now.

I've lost him…in more ways than one.

_**PT: So…short, but my head's going through extreme writers' block now. I mean, seriously! I've gone off my usual updating schedule on my other Warriors fic and I've been going through tons of drafts for the next update of my FMA fic. That's not to mention my CDF fic, my…well, you get the point.**_

_**I've noticed that I've been bashing Nightcloud and ShadowClan too hard. Mark me, I don't like them, but ShadowClan's just too arrogant and Nightcloud is…. Well, I just read Cats of The Clans and I feel the same way as Rock feels about her. Except, there's the fact that I think she really does love Crowfeather, but hurts that he doesn't love her back. ShadowClan's amazingly proud; I still haven't forgotten that they just watched and jeered while Berrypaw was still a helpless kit caught in a fox-trap. I'm still amazingly mad about it.**_

_**If I don't update real soon, you'll have to wait a while. Summer just started for me here in New York; today was the last day of school. My aunt just called today. I'm going back to Canada this summer. It's not Toronto for once. So, yeah, I won't be back for a while.**_

_**I'm going to update my other fics and tell readers that I'm going to be off for a while, unless there's a change of plans. You never know with my family.**_

_**Well, see ya.**_

_**P.S. I GRADUATED DESPITE MY BAD MATH GRADES!! I'M GOING TO EIGHTH GRADE! W00T!! I'm pretty sure you don't care, but I'm just so happy! :D**_

_**Sandstorm: Damn, you're awake again.**_

_**-Squirrelflight knocks PT over the head with a dead frog-**_

_**-PT passes out-**_

_**HeatherLion llll…GoldenTiger l…NightCrow lllll…CinderJay ll**_

_**JayPoppy llll…CinderLittle lllllll…FireSpotted lllll…FernDust llllllll**_

_**FireSand llllll…StormBrook llllll…BlueOak ll…YellowRunning l**_

_**AppleBirch l…LeopardTall lllll…GrayMillie l…**__** HollyBreeze**_

_**SquirrelBramble lllllll…SquirrelAsh…TigerSasha ll…WhiteWillow**_

_**SorrelBracken lllll…StormSquirrel lllll…LeopardHawk ll…DaisySmoky**_

_**CloudDaisy lll…CloudBright llllll…AshNight lll…MinnowMouse**_

_**BlueBarley ll…FuzzViolet…MouseRunning lllll…ShrewWhite llll…BirchWhite llll**_

_**HawkPick a cat! Any cat! llllllll…LeopardBlack lll**_


End file.
